Thursday is the best day

30 Rock, Community and The Office

See?

BEST DAY

MAN I hate this one guy

So, back in August, there was a post on Equestria Daily (Pretty much the hub of all things pony) about making local meet-groups

After a day or two and no Minnesotan ones, I caved and sent the girl organizing them an email

She was like woohoo but an hour or so after, another girl also asked to be the founder of the Minnesotan one, so we got to work jointly

Pretty quickly we gained members and were thinking of our first meet

I suggested MOA and we all worked on a date and time

A guy named Ian was very into it

So at the meet I met everyone, though I was very awkward considering I'm a short girl and most of the people there were very tall guys

I meet the girl I worked jointly with, who was very nice and seemed surprised at my age and height

I also met Ian and noticed right away that he was socially awkward, which had reminded me that he had mentioned several times that he needed to be drunk in order to chat with people

That already gave me terrible vibes

The meet went well, though it was a huge HUGE group and everyone was hard to manage

There was some bad things, but overall it wasn't terrible like I expected it to be

When everyone returned home, we shared pictures, I sent them to Equestria Daily and blah blah

People were sharing Facebook accounts and Ian made a Facebook group for everyone

I was confused at first but joined

It gained hundreds of members before he even thought to make the two founders admins there

Even as he was an admin, himself, on our RDN group

After that, I had some bad experiences with some bronies and took a break from the fandom for a few months. I focused on catching up with Homestuck and Hetalia, mostly

I came back in the last month or two and found things have really changed

No longer is our group nicely bound together, but instead nobody knows many people

Ian is pretty much lord and master

The girl I worked jointly with in nowhere to be found

Everyone keeps stating that Ian is founder, you need to go to him to do things and so on

I feel like I need to get back up on top, 'cause I feel that a lot of my work into this group has been thrown away

No one recognizes me

When people ask for a larger version of the logo, they don't ask me, though I made it

They ask the group and get the response of just clicking it to get a pixel-y version

I'm unsure of what to do here, really

There's a VIP document someone made and neglected to put me or the girl I worked jointly with in as 'Group Founder'. Guess who that is instead?

I added myself to it, though I'm not sure if anyone takes me seriously

I dunno. I really liked the idea of being a leader in this group, but every time I try to be a leader, someone takes it away from me

In real life, people don't take me seriously enough for one and don't listen to me as I scream at them. Even if I made plans, had a whole thing in motion, people ignore me and I have to fight my way into that position of command, if I'm lucky enough for that

Online, I tend to start groups and be usurped. This happened in the Hetalia community first. I had set up the first couple of meets in Minnesota for the local Hetalia fandom, but a girl named Ashley quickly overpowered me with panels and meets and everyone looks up to her now, despite fandom

I do like positions of command. I think I can handle them, especially with some help of co-admins

But I don't understand why I keep coming up empty

It reminds me of how every time I try out for something, I tend to either get rejected (Even if the people who get accepted are terrible) or accepted for such a minor thing that I wish I hadn't been

This is also why I don't often try out for things anymore. Judges just dislike me for some reason. I have to freaking charm them in order to even get minor roles in anything

I'm mainly drawing this from a Hetalia game someone was making and was having artists try out. I thought I was a shoe-in, but I was one of the few who didn't get accepted. The girls who did traced, drew chibis and overall were on-par or less than me when it comes to art quality. I was stunned

The other time was trying out for a musical recently. I'm not a great singer, but I can freaking act. During auditions, I was trying for cute-as-possible and hoping I could charm the judges into letting me in

They did, but with such a minor role that I was on stage for five minutes and had no lines

Basically, anything good that happens to me tends to come out of me self-doubting myself or thinking something is bad until it happens

I've essentially trained myself to self-doubt myself on tests in order to pass with flying colors. I've learned that's what gets me places, that my subconscious is better at things than my conscious and if I let it take over, good things happen

So I'm probably gonna keep trying at this whole leader thing and trying out for stuff

But I'm not surprised if it keeps happening like this

It's not like I can let my subconscious take over in situations like this

(The irony of me doing just that while writing this whole thing is astounding)

If you read all that, thank you and have half of my Valentine's candy c:

C'MON EVERYPONY, SMILE SMILE SMILE!

Hey guess what

I still don't have that Winter Wrap Up in Sindarin thing done

I haven't worked on it in like

A week

Whoops

Also you guys probably have no idea what I'm talking about

Since this blog is like

Brand new-ish

Oh and Smile, Smile, Smile is freaking stuck in my head FOREVER

But I feel bad that I have such an unpopular opinion on that song

I wouldn't really like it much if it didn't have the amazing animation to it :c

Especially the end

SUCH GOOD ANIMATION ;w;

Some day I'm gonna find this blog and go

What the

'Cause I did that today with my old blog

I was complaining about seeing Itsuki x Kyon yaoi everywhere and how much I hated this one kid

What the

Oh

And Grace

If you're reading this

You should bug me to update it while you're in Japan or something

Or else I'm gonna totally forget this exists :c